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Make happiness abundant in your life rather than the energy that comes and goes. It may seem impossible at times, but with learning to love yourself and focus on your energy – it can be. Our clichéd images of hippie-dippie self-love need to disappear because it’s a psychological fact. Studies prove that self-love and – compassion are the secret to mental health and well-being. Struggles with stress, anxiety, and depression will start to fade away. Make happiness easy.
Self-love is a feeling that rises from the core, and we need to take care of it. But how? That’s what I want to share with you today to make you happy. Trying to create feelings of love and looking upon yourself to make happiness is a challenging and daunting task. 

The most difficult thing to do in life is to look at yourself and think about three different things you love about yourself. Try doing it now. Challenging right? Some might ask why it’s important to do this. The problem is that many of us think it’s not a necessity when it is – or that we are simply too busy.

Make Happiness With Yourself First

Here’s the thing. You need to make peace in your head first and clear your headspace. Self-love and focus are the tools you need to be able to work more productively. Letting go of the pressure we put on ourselves to be the best – striving for perfection. It’s unrealistic and exhausting. And you are NOT too busy to do this.

Perfectionism is a fantasy. 


Pride and ego are even worse. They encourage us to push ourselves to unknown limits. Growth is good, but not when it’s at your expense, and you’re losing health. Most of the time, we’re driven to succeed and get it all right – every single time. What happens when you make a mess? You shoot yourself down with bullets of self-criticism and negative self-talk. This creates a negative downward spiral and makes your life seem dull.

I know, because I do it too, and we’re all too tough on ourselves. This is only a reminder to yourself of what you could’ve done better. Studies suggest that perfectionists are more prone to getting illnesses, both physical and mental and that self-compassion is what will help stop this.

The sooner you start to concentrate on this, the sooner you’ll experience and make happiness constant.

Self-Love Is Just Like Oxygen

You need to live and breathe love into your body and soul. However, it also means knowing your limitations and accepting them, and then setting boundaries. You can only start helping others when you help you. That means expressing your boundaries and limits to others without fear. You never want to overextend yourself.

Besides, being perfect is really boring! Being raised in the Western world doesn’t help either, not when you’re conditioned to believe that being obsessed with how perfect you are is the right way to be.


Let’s be realistic for a minute. To be perfect all the time is not natural and will be a bad thing in the long term. It’s basically as bad as smoking or being obese because you’re being proactive about it.

Moreover, research has found that lifespan, irritable bowel syndrome, fibromyalgia, eating disorders, depression, and suicidal tendencies are all some of the most serious disorders linked to perfectionism.

NBC News also shares that heart disease and cancer are also harder for perfectionists because they’re more prone to anxiety and depression.

Making Happiness With Imperfection

The only way you’re going to find sustained happiness is through your mistakes and embracing imperfection.

You deserve better than beatings of criticism. Happiness is something we as humans are entitled to, otherwise what’s the point of living?

Also, you need to resist the temptation to beat yourself up. It’s like you’re bullying yourself – this must stop because it’s a nasty and mean reflex that only drags you down. Whether your mistake was big or small from spilling your tea, or missing a deadline, or messing up a routine.

From missing a deadline to dropping a teaspoon on the floor. Anybody who strives to be perfect will constantly give themselves a hard time over the most unexpected things. It’s all about easing up on yourself, and self-love is not something you have or don’t have either. You can learn to manifest it.

Self-Compassion To Make Happiness

Research shows that having more self-compassion builds resilience, even when there is so much adversity and chaos around you. The facts show that you’ll become more willing to help others, listen more and absorb better. Basically, your coping mechanism will skyrocket.

But what is it, exactly? Thank you for the work of Prof. Neff, Sbarra and colleagues who define self-compassion as a construct that encompasses three components:

  • “self-kindness (i.e., treating oneself with understanding and forgiveness),
  • recognition of one’s place in a shared humanity (i.e., the acknowledgment that people are not perfect, and that personal experiences are part of the larger human experience),
  • and mindfulness (i.e., emotional equanimity and avoidance of overidentification with painful emotions).”


The bottom line: Just be kinder to yourself. Be warm and courteous and understand that we’re meant to feel failure, uncertainty, and inadequacy at times. Rather than criticizing yourself for it, just learn from it.

This won’t happen to you overnight, but with small steps every day, a lot can change.

Train Your Brain

With anything in life, it requires you to train your body. The same as you when you train your body in the gym. No chance that you will be able to lift a heavyweight in the first few sessions. Profs. Neff and Germer who work at Harvard Medical School in Boston, MA says that when you combine mindfulness with self-compassion. You are able to develop a technique called ‘Mindful Self-Compassion […] Training,’ which they have tested in clinical trials with amazing results.

The researchers state that ‘self-compassion is about being kind to yourself in the midst of suffering and it that it will change’. Thus, mindfulness entails opening up to suffering from spatial awareness and that it will change.

Want to know more?

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Skye Mallon

Skye Mallon

Skye is a Holistic Lifestyle Blogger, Entrepreneur and Movement Instructor. She loves changing people's lives and believes you should always strive to be your best! Her brand, Skyezee FashionFit pty (LTD) shares the latest in well-fashion, conscious living, and daily movement. She wants to help others achieve a happy balance by sustaining a conscious, longevous lifestyle. She shares content that helps others tap into the intricacies of our bodies, environments, feelings, and minds.

Skye knows how you feel and is here to help! She wants to help you live happier, longer and more fulfilled lives that we know will make some kind of positive or meaningful impact. Visit Website

The mind, body, and soul must connect.

She specializes in mixed movement classes including her very own Jump Rope HIIT, boxing-inspired workout called Jump Fit. Moreover, she teaches a Skyezee Movement class which includes elements from yoga, martial arts, and dance.

She has a keen interest in high-quality, activewear apparel and represents different brands. Lastly, she believes that the best results are achieved by doing something you love! The point is to have fun, explore and move more, eat good food and get outside of your comfort zone.

Book Skye's Paradise Adventure Retreat in Watamu, Kenya February 2020.
Start the Jump Fit Program
Follow the Skyezee FashionFit Blog
Bachelor of Arts Degree in Fashion at LISOF.
Jump Rope HIIT Coach and Professional Jump Roper
Pilates Teacher Training Certificate.
Budokon Yoga and Mixed Martial Arts Enthusiast and aspiring Teacher/Yogi.


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