Although our society is advancing towards a more genuine feel and authentic approach to almost anything and everything, it’s only natural for us to still fuss over various facets of our outside appearances. Unfortunately, compliments are almost always based on our physicalizes. This forces us to confront the part of ourselves that we present to the world, whether we like it or not. Dr Bilge Gregory shares her insights.
However, it’s important to remember that “attractiveness” is a harmonious balance of the work you’ve done internally alongside what exists externally. So, how do you nurture the inner soul to feel confident in the outer shell? Or, as I like to call it — your ‘meat suit’! Because that’s all it is at the end of the day!
It Begins With The Way We Talk To Ourselves
If you stopped everything and took a moment in your busy life to notice the internal monologue running through your mind — does it sound like speaking calmly and compassionately to a friend?
If you answered no, then ask yourself the following: why don’t you deserve to speak to yourself the same way as you would somebody for whom you care deeply?
Research shows that positive self-talk can: improve self-esteem, stress management, and well-being, thus, reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other challenges one may face psychologically.
So, how can you improve your inner voice?
Practice positive inner perceptions. Implement a daily habit based on gratitude for all the beautiful things about your body. Simply put — change your mindset to seeing the glass as half full, rather than half empty.
Identify your strengths as part of your self-talk, and accept compliments as genuine feedback for your strengths and achievements.
A helpful way to improve positive self-talk is to look, think and act positively, which means, being kind to yourself! Focus on this being a daily intention, and be sure to catch yourself when you are back to old thinking patterns involving self-sabotage.
Self talk and a happier crowd
Surround yourself with optimistic people who thrive on building dreams and have a positive outlook on life. They say, “you are the five people you surround yourself with.”
Be understanding that negative self-talk will often find its way back to you, and hold compassion and patience for yourself. It takes practice catching these moments when they happen and redirecting your focus.
Your thoughts help to create your reality, thus, you can be assured that when you change your thoughts, you change your life.
When you gradually evolve your self-talk and perceptions daily, you will start to feel more confident and truly start believing in your self-worth no matter what “meat suit” you’re in!
Monkey Mind? Meditation Is Key, Baby.
It has been scientifically proven that meditation is the key to creating coherent brainwaves! Meditation can bring you a daily sense of calm, peace, and balance that can benefit your emotional well-being and overall health.
A bonus is that meditation reduces stress, improves productivity, and helps you stay focused. You have nothing to lose by implementing it as a daily practice.
Meditation is an excellent weapon to add to your toolkit for your brand new sexy set of self-confidence abilities! It enhances your coping skills and your stress management.
This kind of self-awareness lets you better understand your strengths and vulnerabilities deeply and intimately, which can significantly benefit your outer confidence journey.
Observe and reflect
A core tenet in meditation is to focus on observing without judgment. You’re not avoiding anything or trying to make anything happen. You’re simply looking at what is there so that you can work through it with great intention.
Thoughts may come and go during your session. However, the more you practice, the better you recognize the moments when you are caught up in thought, and you release the thoughts quickly so that you can get back to the state of presence. Focusing on your breathing patterns or cycling through your body parts by being aware of them in the present is a beneficial way to enhance your meditation skills.
But the #1 reason meditation builds confidence is that it can help stop negative self-talk. You see, meditation essentially trains your brain to dissociate itself from the constant “mental chatter” going on inside your head. And it is this “mental chatter” that causes you to lose confidence and experience anxiety or discontent in the first place!
You are what you see and hear
You can also combine meditation and positive self-talk by using guided meditations on YouTube that focus on self-affirmation and the law of attraction.
I recommend checking out the Mindful Movement on YouTube. This channel has everything you need to gear yourself toward a meditative mindset.
I also recommend sound therapy that engages bilateral brain stimulation, such as binaural beats. Binaural beats have been shown to stimulate each half of the brain in a pattern that helps the coherence of brain waves. It is essential to use headphones or earbuds while listening to binaural beats to receive the benefits. Check out the Monroe Institute on YouTube for amazing binaural beats, highly recommended by me!
Wear Clothes That Make You Feel Like A Boss!
Fashion is one of the most expressive forms of our identity. In threads that make you feel good about yourself, you’ll automatically start to have the boss energy you’ve been craving!
Brainstorm the following questions in a journal to yourself and answer them with clothing in mind:
- What makes you feel attractive?
- What makes you walk into a room feeling confident?
- What do you not have in your wardrobe that you’ve wanted for a long time?
Wearing something totally new that we’ve been craving to get our hands on is that bit of material self-care that we all need from time to time.
Feel great on the inside
If you’re not all that caught up on today’s current styles or a bit lost on where to begin, start a Pinterest board and shop accordingly around styles that you feel you’d thrive in.
If you’re a little shy, consider shopping at a major department store and ask an expert to help you with outfits and styles that compliment your physique. Make sure you only purchase the ones that make YOU feel good and don’t fall victim to persuasion from others to wear something you don’t feel confident in. In the end, it’s YOUR perception, not theirs, that matters most.
Although we all know how important it is to feel great on the inside, it’s not superficial or unrealistic to acknowledge that we have to feel good on the outside sometimes too! Don’t deny the desire to feed that value we give to ourselves based on our outward appearance. It deserves to be loved, also.
Ditch The Beauty Standards Of Today!
Beauty standards are constantly changing, so why spend all your energy trying to keep up with them?
If you took a time capsule back to the 1930s, you might be horrified in this era of the 21st century to see pencil-thin eyebrows. “What were these women thinking? Everyone knows that you must brush your eyebrows every day, and the thicker they are, the better, right?”
No! Beauty standards are constantly changing and evolving, even more so now with the internet and viral trends online. So why spend so much energy keeping up with conforming to them the next day they’re different? There’s a simple answer to this!
What you think matters most
Focus on what makes you feel good, regardless of the current trends. What you think looks good is what matters most. If you truly honor that notion, you’ll be even more timelessly beautiful than you already are!
All in all, it’s important to remember — the way we feel about ourselves is a delicate balance of inner and outer work. But it’s always best, in my opinion, to start inside.
And even though you may be tempted to ignore that outer work exists too, it’s an integral part of your self-image! We need to create a physical appearance that pleases us, but never at the expense of the work we put into our inner selves.
Go ahead and buy the clothing that makes you feel good! Just make sure you’re also implementing other things into your daily rituals to ensure that the whole of you is being taken care of with great intention and love.