Who doesn’t want to love and be loved? To enjoy a relationship that is more simple, straightforward, happier and longer lasting. Sounds like a fairy tale? Well, Shelly Lewin author of a book entitled Uncomplicated Love believes we all deserve to have harmonic, easy-going relationships. However, long-lasting love won’t materialise like magic. Couples have to work at it!Β Β
Uncomplicated love is easygoing
Letβs be honest. Relationships, by their very nature, can be complex and different for everyone. What one person considersΒ “uncomplicated love” might be different from another.
However, we can all probably agree that the concept of uncomplicated love is something we would all love to have. It’s a form of affection or attachment that is easygoing, without the drama, conflicts, or challenges that are often associated with more complicated relationships.
Where we feel more of a sense of ease, harmony, and mutual understanding between individuals. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the relationship lacks depth or intensity. Rather that the dynamics are smooth, and the connection is more simple and sincere.
Uncomplicated love should be without unnecessary drama, misunderstandings, or external pressures that can sometimes strain and even break relationships.
Love is the definitive resource to help you move forward with confidence
When it comes to relationships, Shelley Lewin says she has answers to some of our most fundamental relationship questions and challenges. If you have been searching for answers on how to improve your love relationships, then her recently published book may be just what you need.
The book is a practical, easy to read guide to create a thriving relationship. This is not new to Lewin.Β She’s very open about her own love failures and has used her life lessons to build a successful career as a renowned personal and professional relationship development specialist.
With two decades of experience in private practice as βThe Relationship ArchitectβΒ Lewin has helped thousands of individuals and couples, as well as Fortune 100 company leaders, to transform their relationships. Her mission is to elevate the health and quality of relationships in all areas of life, from family to work systems.
There are no limits
Lewin believes thereβs no limit to the amount of loveΒ and power available to us. Love and power are two expressions of being human that we become disconnected from. She says the disconnectΒ is rooted in two top emotional needs driving emotional behaviour: the need for authenticity and the need for attachment. When we are children, we need attachment, and this always trumps our need for authenticity.Β
Your childhood influences your love outcomes
The book touches on many drivers of bad or complicated relationships, why they happen and what to do. One fundamental pillar of this is childhood experiences.Β Lewin says our childhood conditioning can imprint beliefs in our psyche that we are neither powerful nor lovable. Lewin explains that this is why many stay in dissatisfying relationships and give their power away to lovers even when it is detrimental to their well-being.
“The moment we love ourselves and accept ourselves fully- by healing the wounds of our past and becoming empowered individuals –Β it’s easier to identify, attract and co-create a secure attachment that encourages our personal thriving.”
A few thought provoking insights from Lewin’s book
- People are complicated, relationships are not!
- The sad reality is that many couples – if they were honest with themselves – stay and tolerate a partner for the sake of attachment – not love.
- Your life is a creative process. You are the creator of your life, not a victim of circumstances.
- You’re the architect of your relationships, which you get to craft day by day, with the things you say yes to and the things you say no to.
- You have the awareness. Next is to make a choice about what you are going to do differently.
In closing
Lewin’s book is an invitation for you to practise the things you need to practise so you will move to closer mastery in this aspect of your life.
She believes you can choose to live by default or by design, to live life deliberately or unintentionally. If you cannot thrive where you are, perhaps it is time to leave. This sounds harsh, but as Lewin says, βWe are all worthy and deserving of life. You can take your life and the results you get into your own hands because you are the architect. You’ve got the power, and you are lovable.
