Skip to main content

Around this time of year there is usually a lot of media around menโ€™s health issues. Now, while the conversation is often geared towards Movember and the risks of prostate cancer,ย  it would be irresponsible if we did not awareness around menโ€™s mental health too!

According to statistics, South African men are four times more likelyย to die by suicide than women. Itโ€™s clear that menโ€™s mental health is a serious issue, both in South Africa and across the world. Unfortunately, many men choose to suffer in silence, with one of the contributing factors being their refusal to be vulnerable.

It is because of this that South African rugby captain Siya Kolisi has taken it upon himself to not only help dismantle theย stereotypes associated with menโ€™s vulnerability, but heโ€™s also hoping to encourage them to seek help when it comes to theirย mental well-being.

Siya Kolisi: Menโ€™s Mental Health Matters

According to research, women are more likely to go to the doctor than men. In fact, it appears that men routinely avoid going to the doctor, with some even admitting that theyโ€™d rather do household chores than visit the doctor.

While there are many reasons for this, the most obvious is that men would rather not be seen as vulnerable or in need of help.

Siya Kolisi

Siya Kolisi/Dove Men + Care

โ€œI think hesitancy is related to social norms.โ€ explains Siya Kolisi, ย โ€œMen are told that they need to be strong and be in โ€œcontrolโ€ of their emotions, โ€œmen donโ€™t cryโ€,ย  that they must rely on themselves and are discouraged from speaking openly about their emotions.โ€

However, with the Rugby World Cup winner adding that men are battling mental health disorders that include depression, anxiety, and addictive disorders, itโ€™s important for us to break these stigmas.

It all starts at home

It would be naive not to acknowledge how many African cultures are rooted in patriarchy, and this has definitely influenced the way in which we approach menโ€™s health issues.

Kolisi points out that the stigma around menโ€™s mental health in black communities is especially rampant, and itโ€™s something that requires our immediate attention.

โ€œMen often suffer in silence when mental health issues are usually not properly prioritized,โ€ he says. Kolisi adds that the association of mental health with weakness is also a problem that needs to be addressed. Not only that, but the notion that men shouldnโ€™t display any form of emotion is an issue that needs to be tackled, especially because it sets a dangerous precedence.

โ€œWhen some communities process grief, men are not allowed to show emotions or to cry.โ€ says Kolisi,ย โ€œWhen my grandmother and mother died, I was numb, and it was only later on in life where I learned how to process that grief.โ€

Creating a safe space

children

Rido/shutterstock

Change starts at home, and thatโ€™s something that the 30-year-old sportsman is conscious of. As such, the father-of-two has made it his priority to teach his son the importance of being vulnerable.

โ€œI show emotions. I tell him I love him, I kiss him. I hug him, all the things that I longed for as a boy, I am giving back to my son.โ€ says Kolisi, adding that heย allowsย his sonย to see him cryย so that he canย show himย thatย itโ€™s okay to show emotions,

โ€œI teach him that it is okay to say that he is struggling with something. I celebrate with him when he asks for support. I am teaching him not to limit himself from experiencing the full range of his humanity.โ€

The ugly side of fame

While some may argue that itโ€™s easy for a world-renowned sports hero to be on top of his mental health, thatโ€™s not necessarily the case. As Naomi Osaka has shown us, it can be hard to be at the top, especially in the age of social media.

social media

Photo by dole777 on Unsplash

Now, Kolisi admits that social media can provide powerful platforms that encourage social change, such as the Dove Men + Care Care Conversations that addressed menโ€™s mental health. However, he also acknowledges that these apps can be harmful, especially when youโ€™re in the public eye,

โ€œPeople can say mean and hurtful things to sportspeople without caring about how their words impact us.โ€

So how does the sportsman navigate the ugly side of social media?

โ€œI do my best to sometimes limit my engagement on social media and focus on my internal process. I do my best during the week, in training preparation for a match, and on match day, I give it my all. If we donโ€™t win, I need to forgive myself, and run it back.โ€

Exercise is the best medicine

Siya Kolisi/Dove Men + Care

Being a professional sportsman, you would expect Siya Kolisi to advocate for the importance of physical activity. However, his sentiments are backed by research.

In fact, numerous studies have found that physical activity can also be used to manage depression and anxiety disorders.

Aside from leading an incredibly active life, Kolisi also has his own method when it comes to dealing with stress. He reveals that heโ€™s learned to understand what his triggers are and as such, he makes sure to walk away when he becomes really angry and to go gather his thoughts,

โ€œI then come back and first apologize and then talk through how the situation made me feel. I listen to worship and read before bed to calm myselfย down.โ€

Bottom line

Itโ€™s important for people, regardless of gender, to understand that their mental health matters. They need to know that itโ€™s okay to reach out for help when struggling. In fact, reaching out isnโ€™t a sign of weakness, but rather of strength.

Whatโ€™s more, by being vulnerable and open, youโ€™re also sending a message that itโ€™s okay to talk about your feelings. This is something that everyone needs to hear, especially the younger generation,

โ€œAcknowledge there is a problem, then take action, talk to someone, seek help. Boys see what their own fathers, uncles do and they do the same. We need to do better in order for them to do better.โ€ – Siya Kolisi

MAIN IMAGE CREDIT: Dove Men + Care

Pie Mulumba

Pie Mulumba

Pie Mulumba is a journalist graduate and writer, specializing in health, beauty, and wellness. She also has a passion for poetry, equality, and natural hair. Identifiable by either her large afro or colorful locks, Pie aspires to provide the latest information on how one can adopt a healthy lifestyle and leave a more equitable society behind.

Longevity Live is a digital publisher AND DOES NOT OFFER PERSONAL HEALTH OR MEDICAL ADVICE. IF YOUโ€™RE FACING A MEDICAL EMERGENCY, CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY SERVICES IMMEDIATELY, OR VISIT THE NEAREST EMERGENCY ROOM OR URGENT CARE CENTER. YOU SHOULD CONSULT YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER BEFORE STARTING ANY NUTRITION, DIET, EXERCISE, FITNESS, MEDICAL, OR WELLNESS PROGRAM.

This content, developed through collaboration with licensed medical professionals and external contributors, including text, graphics, images, and other material contained on the website, apps, newsletter, and products (โ€œContentโ€), is general in nature and for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice; the Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always consult your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, procedure, or treatment, whether it is a prescription medication, over-the-counter drug, vitamin, supplement, or herbal alternative.

Longevity Live makes no guarantees about the efficacy or safety of products or treatments described in any of our posts. Any information on supplements, related services and drug information contained in our posts are subject to change and are not intended to cover all possible uses, directions, precautions, warnings, drug interactions, allergic reactions, or adverse effects.

Longevity does not recommend or endorse any specific test, clinician, clinical care provider, product, procedure, opinion, service, or other information that may be mentioned on Longevityโ€™s websites, apps, and Content.