Our longevity inspiration this week is Oprah Winfrey’s dialogue on what we can learn about happiness from rock star Adele. The celebrated star found the courage to put herself first.
Oprah says Adele’s experience shows that, by choosing happiness for yourself you truly allow yourself to bring happiness to other people.
Adele overcame guilt to choose self-love
So many women stay in miserable relationships. They do not have the strength or believe they have the right to let go. When choosing you, it’s important not to feel guilty about it. It was not easy for Adele. She took some time to overcome the fear and guilt of divorcing her husband of seven years, Simon Konecki.
“I’ve been obsessed with the nuclear family my whole life because I never came from one. In all these movies and all these books, when you grow up reading them, that’s what it should be.
I just, from a very young age, promised myself that when I had kids, that we’d stay together. We would be that united family. And I tried for a really, really long time.” – Adele
Oprah says she is not alone. “So many women suffer from the same mindset which stops them from putting themselves first. Yet your own happiness is enough of a reason to make a major change.”
From divorce to happiness
In her weekly dialogue, Oprah explains how Adele imagined the person she wanted her nine-year-old to know. Adele was unhappy, and her son was not getting the best version of her. She told Oprah that her new album was a way for her to talk to her son, Angelo, about the changes in their family. She hopes he’ll understand the songs more when he’s older.
“I was just going through the motions and I wasn’t happy. Neither of us did anything wrong. Neither of us hurt each other or anything like that. It was just: I want my son to see me really love, and be loved. It’s really important to me,” Adele
Choosing for yourself
Oprah says that the real insight we should take out from Adele is that when you choose happiness for yourself, it truly allows you to bring happiness to other people.
- Women are conditioned to give and give
- Self-care is a gift you give to yourself
- Choose what is right for you
- Know when it is right for you to take the first step
On choosing good health
Adele’s transformation since her divorce has not only been emotional. The rock star has also lost weight and is effectively managing her anxiety. Adele’s appearance over the last two years has been the subject of much speculation after she lost almost 45 kilograms in a new exercise regime.
The star said the transformation was “mainly” about controlling her anxiety.
“I had the most terrifying anxiety attacks since I left my marriage,” she explained.
“They paralysed me completely, and made me so confused because I wouldn’t be able to have any control over my body.”
After noticing that her anxiety eased at the gym, she began to go every day. “That really contributed towards me getting my mind right,” Adele said.
Self-care, weight loss, better health, and happiness
We know that exercise has incredible power to help relieve psychological challenges. Another positive consequence of changing her emotional perspective was Adele’s subsequent weight loss. She has not only undergone a significant emotional transformation, but also a physical one. In choosing herself, Adele was released from a weight pattern that was having a negative impact not just on her emotional stability, but also on her health.
Adele is not alone here, either. Oprah Winfrey recalled her own experiences of weight loss, and how some people felt “upset” and “abandoned” when she first went on a diet, suggesting she’d heard similar comments,
Adele has responded to the negativity by saying:
“I’m not shocked or even fazed by it because my body has been objectified my entire career. I’m either too big or too small; I’m either hot or I’m not. But it’s not my job to validate how people feel about their bodies.
I feel bad that it’s made anyone feel horrible about themselves – but that’s not my job. I’m trying to sort my own life out. I can’t add another worry. “
Longevity weekly inspiration for choosing happiness
The take-out from this longevity weekly inspiration is that no matter who you are, you have the power to transform your life for happiness. When you choose to put your own self-care first, you will become the best version of yourself. When you become the best version of yourself and live in integrity, this will improve the lives of others and motivate them to be their happiest version too.