If you’re reading this, you’ve probably accessed lots of material concerning depression and how to deal with it. Much has been said and studied concerning matters to do with mental health problems, but most health scholars and gurus focus on a narrow perspective. This burden triples when an individual is in a relationship and has no way of handling it or the partner fails to provide the help needed.
This article aims to shed light on a different way of managing your depression and, if possible, fully get rid of it. Often, depression tends to make or break relationships, and without the right knowledge, you will end up with more frustrations.
That said, hold your thoughts and everything you’ve been taught about depression in a relationship and get our perspective. If you have more questions afterward, we are ready to help.
Dating With Depression
Medication today hopes to address the symptoms of depression without catering to the antecedents. Therapy is just one way of finding the cause, but it fails to take a holistic approach. The meds are known to cause side effects both in the short and long run, and some patients end up addicted to the drugs. They use these prescriptions as their ‘only’ solution to handling depression in a relationship.
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Is there a better way to view depression that will see more people heal from traumas and experiences?
First and foremost, dating itself can be a cause of depression. As it stands, more and more people have left physical interactions that were so common a century ago. Right now, people want to connect through social media, phones, hookup sites, calls, and video conferencing. Those who’ve failed to find love around them consider these channels as viable routes to sort out their frustrations.
Don’t get it wrong: these sites are powerful tools that have tons of benefits. As a matter of fact, some marriages last for years, and these people have met through an online platform. But that’s not the point.
Be cautious that you don’t sink into the pit as you try to pull your partner out!
A healthy relationship needs some form of balance – there have to be moments of being together and apart. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all. But things are different when it comes to depression.
When dating with depression, a common trait is that a person will either want to be alone or is too needy. In both cases, they make wrong judgments since it is essentially the sickness controlling their feelings.
How to Deal With Depression in a Relationship
First, address the timing. A 2019 study found that depression is less common in teens who do not date. This is an explosive report considering how our society has bred us to seek out this at such an early age.
The reasons for this study can be attributed to various factors. One of them is brain development in kids. In ancient times, society used to conduct matters in moderation and through different stages. That is essentially how the brain was created to operate. Our culture and capitalism have only come into the picture to do away with these boundaries and transitions. For instance, it was unheard of in former times to find nine-year-old girls being talked to concerning sex since they were not mature enough to handle that. Things are quite different today.
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At times, it’s not the relationship you need, even though the depressive state tells you that you cannot exist without someone else. In most circumstances, you need a friend, a brother, sister, or someone to be there and give you the constant encouragement and tough love you need.
Understanding the Multi-Faceted Nature of Depression
To heal and move on to a healthier life, you have to understand that depression is multidimensional. The one mistake therapists make is the inability to solidly connect the relationship between one’s soul, body, and spirit. All of these are interconnected, and failure to address one will eventually affect the rest.
People may not help you put the pieces together!
For instance, one may have wealth and be in good health but still suffer from depression since they have not reconnected with the trustworthy spiritual Source. Similarly, one may have addressed their spiritual well-being, but due to poor eating habits and lack of exercise, the body regresses into a state of degradation. Both will result in depression, but most people only try to fill up the void inside. They turn to drugs, relationships, sex, partying, shopping, food, movies, and a list of whole other things, which only multiply the effects without one’s awareness.
Tips for Dating Someone With Depression
Depression makes relationships a heavy burden to bear for both parties, especially if the healthy individual fails to understand and connect. If you’ve reached the right time to date and find yourself with someone suffering from depression, or you are affected by it, consider these tips to get you running in the right direction:
- Honesty is among the top virtues that will help stabilize that relationship. Be honest enough to share with your lover what you are going through at a personal level. Most people cage their feelings inside in a bid to protect the depressed person, but this is false sympathy, which is destructive in most relationships.
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- A friend indeed! You want someone who will focus on the inner you rather than try to change or please your outer state. You need a friend who will listen and walk with you more than you need a lover at this juncture. If your partner is going through this, avoid getting intimate, going for loud parties, drinking, drugs, or any form of pleasure to drown the real deal. Be prepared to spend time going for walks or morning runs, cooking together, talking intimately, and such activities that will get you to reconnect with your partner when you’re depressed. Remember that depression is not something unique to specific people as it can affect anyone.
- Additional attributes you need to look for in a partner if you have depression include unconditional love regardless of your behavior and mood swings. It should be someone with an observant eye to monitor your changes throughout the day, a validating, encouraging, and supportive friend who will only affirm positivity in your life, even when you are at your lowest.
You need a friend and a shoulder who understands you more than anyone else.
Conclusion
Remember, the power of life and death lies in the tongue. You can heal yourself by your words of affirmation or else cause things to worsen through negativity. With that in mind, surround yourself with people who will steer you in the right direction. They will remind you that you are more than a conqueror. Be bold enough to utter these words yourself and even encourage those around you. Remember, it will definitely reflect in your body and health if it affects your mind or spirit. How are you handling depression in a relationship? Leave a comment!
Who is the author?
Aria Green is a family photographer, relationship psychology writer. A wife and a mother of two adorable kids who won’t get bored even for a minute. She completed a photography course in college. Since then photography has been her passion. As for a writing passion, she loves personality psychology, helping people with advice on the relationship between a man and a woman.
